Annette’s attacker threw her to the ground before she realized what was happening. “I tried everything I could to fight him off,” she says. “I tried to scream, but only air escaped my lungs. I pushed, kicked, punched, and scratched. And that’s when I felt a knife pierce my skin. I went completely limp.”

If you were in a situation like that, how would you react?

While you might be prepared—perhaps by being alert when you travel outdoors at night—bad things can happen. “The swift do not always win the race,” says the Bible, “nor do those with knowledge always have success, because time and unexpected events overtake them all.”—Ecclesiastes 9:11.

Some youths, like Annette, are assaulted by a stranger. Others are attacked by an acquaintance or even a family member. At just ten years of age, Natalie was sexually abused by a teenager who lived near her home. “I was so scared and ashamed that at first I didn’t tell anyone,” she says.

Annette still deals with feelings of guilt over what happened. “I keep playing that night over and over again in my head,” she says. “I feel as though I should have tried harder to fight him off. The fact is, after being stabbed, I was paralyzed with fear. I couldn’t do anything more, but I feel that I should have.”

Natalie also struggles with feelings of guilt. “I shouldn’t have been so trusting,” she says. “My parents had a rule that my sister and I had to stay together when we played outside, but I didn’t listen. So I feel I gave my neighbor the opportunity to hurt me. What happened affected my family, and I feel responsible for causing them so much pain. I struggle with that the most.”

If your feelings are similar to those of Annette or Natalie, keep foremost in mind that a person who is raped is not a willing participant. Some people make the issue seem less serious, using the excuse that it is normal for boys to act that way or that victims of rape were asking for it. But no one deserves to be raped. If you were the victim of such a heinous act, you are not to blame!

Of course, reading the statement “you are not to blame” is easy; believing it may be much more difficult. Some hold in their feelings about what happened and suffer from guilt and other negative emotions. But who is best served by silence—you or the abuser? You owe it to yourself to consider another option.

The Bible tells us that at the height of his personal turmoil, the righteous man Job said: “I will speak out in my bitter distress!” (Job 10:1) You may benefit from doing the same. Talking to a trusted confidant can help you to come to terms with what happened and help you to gain relief from overwhelming emotions.

Annette found that to be true. She says: “I talked to a close friend, and she urged me to speak with a couple of Christian elders in my congregation. I’m glad I did. They sat down with me on several occasions and told me exactly what I needed to hear—that what happened was not my fault. None of it was my fault.”

Natalie talked to her parents about the abuse. “They supported me,” she says. “They encouraged me to talk about it, and that helped me not to be so sad and angry inside.”

Natalie also found comfort in prayer. “Talking to God helped me,” she says, “especially at those times when I felt that I couldn’t open up to another human. When I pray, I can speak freely. It gives me a real sense of peace and calm.”

You too can find that there is “a time to heal.” (Ecclesiastes 3:3) Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Get needed rest. And most of all, rely on the God of all comfort, Jehovah.—2 Corinthians 1:3, 4.

If you are a girl and you are being pressured to engage in unclean conduct, there’s nothing wrong with firmly stating, “Don’t do that!” or, “Take your hand off me!” Don’t hold back out of fear that you’ll lose your boyfriend. If he breaks up with you over this issue, he’s not worth keeping! You deserve a real man, one who respects your body and your principles.

“In middle school, boys would pull on the back of my bra and make derogatory comments—like how much better I would feel once I had sex with them.”—Coretta.

Do you think that those boys were

1. Teasing her?

2. Flirting with her?

3. Sexually harassing her?

“On the bus, a boy started saying nasty things to me and grabbing me. I smacked his hand away and told him to move. He looked at me like I was crazy.”—Candice.

What do you think this boy was doing to Candice?

1. Teasing her?

2. Flirting with her?

3. Sexually harassing her?

“Last year, a boy kept telling me that he liked me and that he wanted to go out with me, even though I constantly told him no. Sometimes, he rubbed my arm. I told him to stop, but he wouldn’t. Then, while I was tying my shoe, he smacked my rear end.”—Bethany.

In your opinion, was this boy:

1. Teasing her?

2. Flirting with her?

3. Sexually harassing her?

The correct choice for all three is C.

What makes sexual harassment different from flirting or teasing?

Sexual harassment is one-sided. It continues even when the victim tells the person to stop.

Harassment is serious. It can lead to sexual violence.

Ẹdẹ ọkpa, okpia ọkpa na wa baba Annette mu. Ọ ke rẹn emwi nọ sunu, ọ na wa muẹn gbotọ. Annette khare wẹẹ “I na gha hia ne I sua re, I na te gha hia ne I so ladian sokpan urhu na din mwẹ. I sua re, I kinmwi ẹnrẹn, I fi ẹre ekpa, I fian rẹn re, I gbẹre ubi sokpan ọ ma sẹ mwẹ rae. I ke rẹn emwi nọ sunu, ọ ya abẹ so mwẹ nẹ. I ma ghi sẹtin zẹ obọ zẹ owẹ.”

Akpawẹ uwẹ ẹre egbe emwi vbenia sunu daa, de emwi ne uwẹ gha te ru?

U gha dobọ gha baba egbe vbe u gha rrie orere vbe asọn, emwi dan sẹtin ye sunu. E Baibol khare wẹẹ, ‘Ẹi re iran ni rhulẹ sẹẹ, ẹre ọ mu okaro vbe ulẹ, ra ẹi re iran hia ni mwẹ irẹnmwi ẹre ọ wa mu sọe, rhunmwuda evba ma roro, a ma kọ keghi dekun emwa hia.’—Asan Ibo 9:11.

Emwa ni mobọ mu igbama nibun yagha, keghi re emwa ne iran ma ka rẹn ẹdẹ zẹvbe ne ọghe Annette ghaa ye. Eso keghi re ọse ra ọtẹn vbuwe ẹgbẹe. Ukpo igbe kẹkan ẹre Natalie ghaa ye, vbe ọvbokhan okpia ọkpa nọ rre ẹdogbo ọghe iran muẹn yagha. Natalie keghi kha wẹẹ, “Ohan na gha mu mwẹ, ekhue ma gu mwẹ rherhe tama ọmwa rhọkpa.”

Ekhọe Annette ye bu abe gbẹ rhunmwuda emwi nọ sunu daa re. Annette khare wẹẹ, “Te I ye roro ẹre do sẹ ẹdẹnẹrẹ ighẹ emwi nọ sunu daa mwẹ vbe asọn nii. I na gha roro ẹre wẹẹ, I kpa sẹtin hia sayọ, I gha te sẹtin sua re fua. Ẹmwata nọ rrọọ ore wẹẹ, vbe ọ ghi ya abẹ so mwẹ nẹ, ohan ma ghi gu mwẹ ru emwi rhọkpa sokpan I gha te ye hia.”

Ekhọe Natalie vbe bu abe gbẹ. Ọ khare wẹẹ, “I kpa rẹn, I ghẹ te wa fiegbe rua vberriọ. Evbibiẹ mwẹ khama mwẹ wẹẹ, I gha khian ku vbe orere, ne imẹ vbe ọtẹn mwẹ gba gha ku sokpan I ma họn. Rhunmwuda ọni, I ghee ẹre wẹẹ imẹ, ẹre ọ wa ye egbe mwẹ fialasẹ ne ọmwa nọ mu mwẹ yagha. Obalọ nọ si gie ẹgbẹe mwẹ i re nekherhe. Ọni ẹre ọ ghi wa kpokpo mwẹ orhiọn sẹ.”

Ekhọe ruẹ gha bu abe gbuẹ vbene ọghe Annette kevbe Natalie ye, wa gha mwẹ ọnrẹn vbe orhiọn wẹẹ, ọmwa na mu yagha i re nọ kue yọ. Emwa eso keghi wa ghee ẹre wẹẹ, ẹi re emwi na ma he miẹn vbe agbọn ẹdẹ, kevbe wẹẹ emwi nọ mobọ gua ibiẹka ikpia obọ ro ẹre nọ. Iran vbe kha wẹẹ, emwi ne ivbialeke eso na mu yagha gualọ, ẹre iran miẹn. Sokpan ai miẹn ọmwa nọ hoo na mu irẹn yagha. Adeghẹ a na ru ruẹ emwi aighẹru vberriọ, ẹi re ẹmwẹ ruẹ!

Vbene ẹmwata, a gha wẹẹ, “ẹi re ẹmwẹ ruẹ,” ọ keghi khuẹrhẹ na ta vbe unu sokpan ẹi re emwi nọ khuẹrhẹ na yaeyi. Emwa eso na mu yagha i hoo ne iran tama ọmwa rhọkpa, rhunmwuda ọni, ekhọe iran ghi gha bu abe gbe iran. Sokpan deghẹ u ma guan ladian, de ọmwa nu yae ru khọọ—ọmwa nọ mu ruẹ yagha nọ ra, ra egbe ruẹ nọ? Ọ khẹke ne u gualọ vbene u gha lae hẹ.

E Baibol khama ima wẹẹ, vbe obọ ghi zẹ da e Job, ọ na kha wẹẹ: “Danmwehọ ẹzọ orriara ne I gui.” (Job 10:1) U gha vbe miẹn ere vbọ deghẹ u na guan ladian vbene Job ruẹre. Adeghẹ u na fannọ otọ ẹko ruẹ ma ọmwa ne u gba ẹko ẹre, ọna gha ya orhiọn ruẹ sotọ vbene u khian na gha mwẹ ọnrẹn vbe orhiọn wẹẹ, emwi nọ sunu, sunu nẹ.

Annette do bẹghe ẹre wẹẹ, na guan ladian ẹre ọ maan sẹ. Ẹre ọ na kha wẹẹ: “I ghi gu ọse mwẹ ọkpa guan, ọ na wẹẹ ne I gu ediọn eso guan vbe iko. I wa ghọghọ wẹẹ, I ru vberriọ. Ẹi re avbiẹ inugba iran tie mwẹ tota, gha ta ẹmwẹ nọ wa gha la mwẹ ehọ ma mwẹ. Iran na wẹẹ, emwi nọ sunu na i re ẹmwẹ mwẹ. Ẹi zẹdẹ re ẹmwẹ mwẹ.”

Natalie keghi gu evbibiẹ ọre guan vbekpa emwi nọ sunu. Natalie keghi kha wẹẹ, “Iran ma zẹdẹ gu mwẹ gui, iran na ghi khama mwẹ wẹẹ, ne I guan ladian, ọna ẹre ọ ghi ru iyobọ mẹ, ne I sẹtin mu orriara nọ rrọ mwẹ ẹko fua.”

Erhunmwu vbe ru iyobọ ne Natalie ya miẹn ifuẹko. Ọ khare wẹẹ, “Ugbẹnvbe a miẹn wẹẹ, I ma sẹtin fannọ otọ ẹko mwẹ ma ọmwa rhọkpa, I keghi gu Osanobua guan. Ọna ẹre ọ ghi ru iyobọ mẹ. Ai miẹn emwi ne I i khian sẹtin tama Osanobua. I gha guẹ guan, orhiọn mwẹ ghi wa sotọ.”

U gha vbe do miẹn wẹẹ ẹghẹ rrọọ ‘ne egbe ya rhaan ọmwa.’ (Asan Ibo 3:3) Gbaroghe egbuẹ ẹsẹsẹmwẹse. Gha hẹwẹ. Sẹ ehia, mu ẹtin yan e Jehova nọ re Osa ọghe ifuẹko.—2 Kọrinti 1:3, 4.

Adeghẹ ovbialeke ẹre u khin, kevbe a na gha kpikpi ruẹ ye uyinmwẹ esakan, u ma rriabe deghẹ u na khama iran wẹẹ, “Ghẹ danmwẹ ọnrẹn!” ra “Ghẹ ya obọ kaan mwẹ!” Ghẹ ghee ẹre wẹẹ egbakhian ruẹ gha sẹ ruẹ rae rhunmwuda u ma kue nẹ. Ọ gha rhunmwuda ọni sẹ ruẹ rae, u ghi rẹn ighẹ ẹi re ọmwa agbọn! Ọmwa nọ gele rẹn enegbe kevbe nọ ya aro nọ ghaan ghee ruẹ, ẹre ọ khẹke ne u gha mwẹ zẹvbe egbakhian.

“Vbe I rre owebe nukpogieva, ibiẹka ikpia eso ghi gha ya obọ silo umuewẹn mwẹ (bra), iran ghi gha ta ẹmwẹ oya ma mwẹ wẹẹ, I kpa lovbiẹ ke iran, agbọn gha te maan mwẹ sẹ ọna.”—Coretta.

De emwi ne uwẹ yayi wẹẹ ibiẹka ikpia nii ghaa ru

1. Te iran ghaa yae gbogiẹ?

2. Te iran ghaa guẹ gbe ọkiẹkiẹ nọ ma khian rẹn?

3. Te iran ghaa guẹ ku iku oghẹ nọ ma khian rẹn?

“Vbe I rre uwu imọto vbe ẹdẹ ọkpa, ọvbokhan okpia ọkpa na suẹn gha ta ẹmwẹ oya ma mwẹ, ọ na wa da mwẹ yi. Ẹre I na ghi gban rẹn obọ fua, I na khama rẹn wẹẹ, gu mwẹ gha bẹghe iyeke ruẹ. Ọ na gha ghee mwẹ vbene ekpo ghee ikọbọ.”—Candice.”

De emwi ne ọvbokhan okpia na, ghaa hoo nọ ru Candice re?

1. Te iran ghaa yae gbogiẹ?

2. Te iran ghaa guẹ gbe ọkiẹkiẹ nọ ma khian rẹn?

3. Te iran ghaa guẹ ku iku oghẹ nọ ma khian rẹn?

“Ukpo nọ lae, ọvbokhan okpia ọkpa na gha khama mwẹ wẹẹ, ẹmwẹ mwẹ yẹẹ irẹn kevbe wẹẹ ne ima gba gha re ọse agharhemiẹn wẹẹ, ẹghẹ hia ẹre I ya gha khama rẹn wẹẹ, I i kue. Ugbẹnso ọ ghi gha ya obọ rrarra mwẹ izabọ. I khama rẹn nẹ ghẹ ghi ruẹ sokpan ọ ma họn. Vbe I ghi gba ibata vbe ẹdẹ ọkpa, ọ na wa gbe obọ yọ mwẹ ikebe.”—Bethany.

De emwi ne uwẹ yayi ighẹ ọvbokhan okpia na ghaa ru?

1. Te iran ghaa yae gbogiẹ?

2. Te iran ghaa guẹ gbe ọkiẹkiẹ nọ ma khian rẹn?

3. Te iran ghaa guẹ ku iku oghẹ nọ ma khian rẹn?

Ewanniẹ ọghe inọta eha na keghi re nogieha.

De vbene iku oghẹ nọ ma khian rẹn na gu ọmwa ku ya lughaẹn ne ọkiẹkiẹ nọ ma khian rẹn kevbe na ya ọmwa gbogiẹ?

Egbe i rọkhọ ọmwa na ku ẹre daa rhunmwuda wẹẹ, ọmwa nọ ku iku na, i hẹwẹ vbọ, uhiẹn vbe a gha khama rẹn nọ dobọ yi.

Iku oghẹ nọ ma khian rẹn i re emwi na ya ku. Erriọ iran ya suẹn ighẹ emwa nibun ni mu ọmwa yagha.